had econs essays paper 3 today. it wasn't good, my mind went so blank i felt so helpless. The questions were so straightforward and i had to kick myself for not being able to remember anything that i'd taken so much pain to memorize the previous days. everything disappeared when i was there. In fact, so unexpectedly easy were the questions that i've spotted an exact duplicate of a question from the 2004 paper which i'd stared at and read minutes before going into exam hall, even reading the examiners' report and all. but was blank, all was blank.

came out mourning. but i've forced myself to forget it. tomorrow's redemption day, time to redeem my loss today..

i reluctantly rushed to BP Mac at 7pm to meet a friend's friend for econs help. reluctant because i'd felt so demoralised by my performance that i've lost all motivation to study for econs. what God sent me was indeed truly wonderful, i'm so so thankful to have met him, he was so patient and nice, a great great help indeed. i'm just regretful for not preparing more questions to ask (MCQs) or not even seeking help earlier. i was wondering, 'i wish i had met him for econs earlier, but i'll have no more chances'. It was even more endearing when i recognised immediately that he's a Malaysian!! haaaha.. AND A CHRISTIAN!!! i told him i was feeling really very lousy and he encouraged me continually. thank God, thank God.

had a long talk with my fellow personnel just now regarding students. i'm feeling guilty of compensating the value of the gospel by not pointing out what is the right thing to do, its like can't bear to scold them because afraid that they'll shun away from me. In the end? rebellious, disrespect, wrong perception of what is right and wrong. but sometimes gotta just play the bad guy, its God's ministry, not my ministry. hai... how to scold?? its like scolding myself lor. a year ago, 2 years ago.
i'll share a lot more with you guys another time.

i've got a lot of planning to do for my students. please pray for wisdom to know what i best for them.

You know what made my day? meeting that Malaysian Christian guy. you know the other day i wrote something asking whether you've ever met anyone who's really really nice but upon the discovery that the person is a non-Ct which just makes your heart sinks? like 'how can that guy not be a Christian?!!' well, i was feeling like that throughout the meeting, itching to ask whether he's a Christian, but eventually when msged him to thank him later on, his response was thanking God and asking me to trust God. So when i delightfully asked him whether he's a christian, to which he replied 'yup, and glad to be one' . hallelujah. nice people always stand out to be Christians! :D

Glory to God
Vin