i'm so angry now, super super angry.
i'm angry at myself, feel like kicking myself, slap myself. AH! GHHH!! please cane me, i need it.
I"M GOING TO MALACCA ON SUNDAY.
i'm fearful, angry, upset, disappointed, crazy.
pastor talked to my supervisor. He told me i'm going up on Sunday.
i didnt ask for more explanation. i don't wanna wake up tomorrow (Project Serve).
i'm seriously considering boycotting this mission trip.
i want to go on a strike.i need to go for counselling.
ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!
HOW AM I GOING TO BE ACCOUNTABLE !!?????!

WHY AM I GOING FOR THIS MISSION TRIP?
I'VE GOT MY COMMITMENTS HERE, WHY AM I GOING?!
GOD, STOP ME FROM GOING. i demand it. give it to me.
WHY? WHY? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M FORCED TO GO?
take me out.

alvin chia