alright, some updates from my side.

Yesterday was entirely wasted away. well, in most sense. I was part of half of the company which didn't have to go for live firing (my turn is on Monday), so they kept us in for no apparent reason. We slept; played rounds of chinese chess to blaringly loud music in the background, all of which I’ve ended up on the losing side; crunched down 2 apples brought from home, and a precious gemlike piece of the all time family favourite Raffles Hotel mooncake while having an intake of God’s Word; went for a casual lecture on 'Care for Soldiers'; and whined about not being allowed to book out but instead being forced to be imprisoned with nothing better to do. well, i guess thats one of the common grouses about the army system that soldiers are always quick to point out - that the army should be more flexible.

This past week has been great. Great deal of experiencing the Lord - His peace and joy overflows in our physical lives. It’d been a hectic week, took SOC test on Monday, IPPT test on Wednesday, outfield drills on Tuesday, urban warfare training and live-firing sessions on Wednesday & Thursday. So I’m thinking probably it was a blessing in disguise yesterday, what seemed to be meaningless confinement, may work to give me compulsory badly needed rest time, which I won’t have if I were to book out early. See? God works in wonderful ways. In most cases I don’t actually see how well planned things work out to be until some time later.

All I was praying for was to be able to enjoy the tests, through relying on Him and running for Him, not piling up unnecessary pressure on myself. I have to say I’ve ate a large portion of humble pie coming into this test. I’ve uncharacteristically floundered the previous 2 tries, through which I’ve finally found the ground with my feet. To say that I wasn’t confident at all is an understatement. I’ve had a rocky start to this course, when I’ve been blighted by illness and a measure of ‘misfortune’, all of which under God’s plan and His sovereignty, but not discounting my responsibility in these situations.

Well, God has taught me important lessons. I’ve breezed through both tests comfortably, romping home to the results i'm only capable of achieving through Him alone. Thank God.

Went for service this early morning, for a 2^nd consecutive Sunday. I love the early morning service. It feels so good to start the day at its freshest. It was nice to hear the guys (Peng Swee, Johnson, Chris, Liangfa, DeZhang) present a song, and I’m thankful for the South View ministry that huEy shared. I’ve found myself praying for the children attending Sunday school too, that even as they grow in age, they may also be taught the right godly values. What pastor Ong shared today is very true, it’ll be good if the children can be drilled from young.

Next week: 32km route march. I’ll see if I can survive that. 28km had me on all fours at the end. this time with an addition of 4km, coupled with crossing a stretch of water body towards the end, I hope I won’t come out crippled. Ha… Next Saturday will be taken up too, I’m rather disappointed about it, its morale lifting to have the weekends freed up. This time, I’ll only be able to book out on Sunday morning, which rules out any chance of going to the Sunday service also…

God is always good. Have a great week experiencing His goodness.

Vin

(the fonts are a little screwed up, i dunno why. apologize for that, so i've decided to mark each paragraphs using different colours for distinction purposes)

my health is getting better by the day. Thank God. Went to the medical centre again on Thursday coz i can't seem to recover. The doctor sent me for X-Ray at CMPB on Friday morning to check if i've come down with sinus. Although i'm quietly confident its not sinus i went for the X-Ray anyway. Thank God for the strong antibiotics prescribed to me. I was disobedient when i defied orders and my status when i went for the 10km run on Friday afternoon. Almost died. I could have joined Thaddeus and the officer who collapsed after running. i vow never to be so silly again. I was afraid of falling further behind everyone else if i missed the run (a test) so i decided not to declare my status and have a go at it anyway. Obviously didn't treasure my life enough.

Another daunting week ahead. Got some catching up to do. SOC and IPPT test, Outfield trainings. Due to my illness, the feeling of breathlessness comes easily. So i hope i can recover in time for SOC test tomorrow, at least good enough to try, coz i know i won't be 100% by Monday.

Let me share my joy with you. I've managed to share the gospel to the guy who sleeps on the bed beside me. I'd always thought he's gonna be a tough nut to crack and really doubting any chance to interest him with the gospel. well, he's also a guy from poly. But the Lord prepared an opportunity on Friday night, and i'm thankful i was able to share with him the gospel. Praise the Lord, nothing is too difficult for thee.

God's grace is sufficient for me. Thank God for sustaining me. The road has been the roughest ever since i enrolled in army. I just gotta rest on God's power and really seek His strength to tide through.

Thank God for brothers and sisters who've encouraged me.
Vin

2 weeks of trials.

Falling ill on Day 1, which i have not recovered from ever since. Prior to that, i've taken much pride in my clean record of not having to see the Medical officer to excuse myself from anything, as God has kept my healthy. Now i've been to the Medical centre twice in as many weeks, sat out of numerous trainings. And showing little signs of recovery.

Both weekends halved. 1 is punishment which i don't really deserve, the other is punishment which i deserve. for the latter, i was hurled out of bed at 3am on Thursday to be informed that i have not signed the armskote record book after i'd returned my rifle. Resulting in me paying the heavy penalty of serving 24 hour guard duty from yesterday to this morning. In retrospect, i couldn't: spend a night at home for the week; going to church for the week and meeting my beloved Christian buddies; witness my student's baptism; just to state a few. Heartbreaking, Heartbroken. But God comforts the downcast, He has made me glad. At the end i was able to still praise and thank Him.

The company i'm posted to for the 12 weeks of this course is well-known for negative reasons. The morale of trainees have sunk to lower levels with each passing day. Inefficiency, disrespect for us, poor management and leadership. Trainees are left with a hollow sense of purpose, and wondering how can such an incompetent company be training future leaders when they're such horrible examples themselves. Much of our conversation are of whining about how well planned things were in my previous company, how different were the sergeants and commanders, how much foresight & direction the OC has, which made for a well completed course without gripes.

my Saturdays for the following 3 weeks are occupied for training. So i won't be around for Saturday service.

Please pray for me, its natural tendency to moan and grumble, but God looks at a complaining heart with disdain.

thank God for the mission team who has just returned! :) May this fruitful experience serve to help them see the importance of Christians to be involved in doing good to the society, and that people need the Lord. I guess individual experiences will add to individual strengthening of the faith.

Exams are here again, pray for the students who are taking their exams.

taking the long way around
Vin

i've painfully saw my precious weekend shaved by half of what i'm supposed to be entitled to. On the 1st day (Wednesday), i seemed to land up on the ugly side of many things (among which, being really very sick). The guy who was sitting beside me in the lecture room dozed off during OC's opening address, and i, and the other 3 guys (his front, left, back guys) were all thrown in to take the punishment with him. understand the anger of being maligned? when you're innocent?

well, JiaYan told me Jesus Christ suffered much worse, gave up much more, He was nailed on the cross.

sometimes we need to experience some of these things ourselves in our small little ways.

so tomorrow i'll be going back at 8am - on a Sunday
Vin

fallen ill

i'm sick.
fever. cough.

sent home the 1st day i reported. haha. thank God for good rest, although not fully recovered yet, but hope i can catch up over the weekend.

Vin

borne identity

came home not long ago from Holland V. Called off plans to stayover at my friend's place.

I wanted to settle down at a place with TV screens, as i had very much wanted to watch some soccer. The places which met this criteria of mine aint hard to find at all. My friend & I strode into this somewhat considerably, relatively decent place. I mean, it does serve beer, but doesn't stall a bar so visible from far, or elevated chairs lining up in linear fashion. Mine is more of a cafe with a speck of influence from the pub located just across the road.

So something caught my friend's eye - 2 bottles of beer for $10. He was backing that simple option and was persuading me to go along with it. i mean, it was like one of the cheaper, value-for-money, item listed in the menu. easy going people will simply settle for it. I refused, 'i havent lost much innocence in these 2 years you know, i'm still as innocent as before' haa.. He went for mushrooms & water while i had a douse of cookie-chocolate-coffee concoction. i strongly felt that ticklish lure to just give in to his suggestion really, that excitement of beer going with soccer, all that merry making, its cuteness and simplicity coz its just 2 of us.
be careful not to assimilate into the world. Be among them, but keep your identity.

to fallen me. zureal:
its important to know what drives the desire to see perfection as the end result.
if the concern arises because its concerning God's kingdom and its glory, then its valid, justified and worthy. if our concerns are driven by personal standards, e.g. seeing that others aren't as 'godly' as you which is so belittling, its idolatrous. Its a thin line that separates the 2, so gotta be discerning. there's nothing wrong in the strive for perfection, just be careful of the motive behind wanting to achieve excellence. After all, we are supposed to work out our faith till its crowned, in due time to come, with perfection isn't it, no doubt its ultimately God that does the work, but that does not rule out human responsibility please, we are held accountable to God for it. So shouldn't we all see excellence as the vision to which we're working towards?

Philippians 3:10-14

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Vin

you fools.

yesterday was so enriching. both the night session & evening sermon in church.

i pray our identity as Christians will not let Christ down.

of late i've been hampered by anger, angst. distaste, whatever. i dunno whether i'm being too critical judgmental or something, but just by seeing the behaviour/outlook/attitude/lives of my fellow Christians can make me feel like something just isn't right. i mean, if not corrected, then it'll not do God's glory any justice really. whats worse, these are obvious signs from the outside excuse me. If signs from the outside can be seen so clearly, how much more it reveals whats inside (for most cases). oh my goodness, now i ask whats stopping me from actually doing something about it. i may not know how to do so sensitively, tactfully. i may not be the best person to do it. the person has shown ignorance when corrected before. i may have blown a crater out of a pothole. my judgment may be entirely wrong. Then there's that big part of being very mindful of myself, not to think that i'm any better than anyone.

then again, much of the concern comes from zooming into the urgency factor. like hello, not young anymore, please don't be a stumbling block to the younger ones, rather, be a godly influence.

Acts 3:
17 Now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders.
19Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,
20and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.
22For Moses said, 'The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own people; you must listen to everything he tells you.
23Anyone who does not listen to him will be completely cut off from among his people.

so i resort to prayer. pray that they may take heed from the Word of God; Jesus the prophet, enabling them to know how to be salt, & light. Man's sinful nature will not deter them from being taught, and accepting, thus living out holy & righteous lives.
Vin