what is the evidence of a Christian?

love: is love shown in the way He relates to others?

truth: does he yearn for the truth? how attractive is the truth to him? how much does He seek God's Word, not taking it lightly, nor reading it without much thought given into pondering and meditation.

righteousness: Repentance, is it shown? Or does he continue to disregard God's Word to carry on sinning, thinking its ok, but actually deceiving himself? Does he live out godly behaviour by obedience towards God?

Do you love God? Is your life consistent with God's Word?
if not, please repent, not feel guilty.

God has given me students who struggle with the same thing i struggle with - accountability. its like staring at the mirror and rebuking yourself. so difficult, to help the student struggle through that, seeing the need to be accountable. every word that comes out of my mouth in the process is like giving myself a major walloping.
so thats why its so vulnerable to rebuke people, coz you need to search yourself 1st, teach yourself 1st, correct yourself 1st.

had a bizarre dream last night. (i mean, how many times dreams arent weird) dreamt that there's gymnastics equipments in JJC. so impossible lor. JJC is so beyond pathetic in its variety of CCAs.
had completed my 2nd book in as many weeks - V for Vendetta ytd. only started going into it on Saturday. what a great book it is, vividly screening in my mind. darn, i missed the movie.

yay, tomorrow's a holiday coz of Nomination Day. i wanna escape somewhere to scream.

Vee-in

thanks Shao Ning & Eunice for a job well done last night! was great, with ur explanations, backgrounds, examples and all. 1 Corinthians is like those case studies. haha.

Whats the speed limit for a lorry? very nice, took a beating by the wind.
credits to Robert, who deservedly demands of it.

went for service today, love the sermon on John 5, though i thought it could go deeper.
went home immediately after tt, attempted to sleep, but i couldnt, so i continued reading V for Vendetta.
haha.. i'm captivated by it, just as i had been taken in by e Geisha one. Oh speaking of that, the movie poster keeps falling off in the middle of the night. Blu-tacks doesnt seem to be effective in papering it onto the wall :O

pages 25 & 26 of the book is teeming with V-words, which sent me chuckling. some of which the meaning remains unknown to me, one of them i doubt its listed in dictionaries. permit me to list them down here coz u absolutely want to find out the meaning of them and use them in your conversing and blogging and showing off and essay writings and interacting and err..

vaudevillian, veteran, vicariously, victim, villain, vicissitudes, visage, veneer, vanity, vestige, vox populi, vacant, vanished, vital, venerated, vilified, valorous, visitation, vexation, vivified, vowed, vanquish, venal, virulent, vermin, vanguarding, vice, vouchsafing, violent, vicious, voracious, violation, volition, verdict, vengeance, vendetta, votive, vain, value, veracity, vindicate, vigilant, virtuous, verily, vichyssoise, verbiage, veers, verbose

there, all richly packed into 3 paragraphs.

V for Vin

I'm so thankful i obtained a perfect score for NAPFA, it exceeded my expectations, esp in sit-ups.

I'm ultimately grateful for these decent results :-)

sit-up: 44
chin-up: 11
standing broad jump: 262
sit & reach: 52
shuttle run: 9.4s
2.4 run: 9:48

thank God for His encouragements. help me to develop this perseverence in doing your ministry work also.

vin

wow.
i badly wanted a 2.4km run trial before the real thing tomorrow, and i'm freaky worried-sick coz i havent ran 6 consecutive rounds of e track in soo long, i dun wanna face the real thing tomorrow not knowing where i stand, or what is the feeling like, so i ran today after being undecided for so long.

Guess what, i bettered my Personal Best timing today by a minute! goodness, stunning it is, my previous best was 10:20+ cant remember. i notched a 9:15 today. unbelievable really, i had felt i ran so slow i thought i would do a 11+. It was anything but a breeze. thank God for His assurance again.

I doubt i can do that well tomorrow, considering there'll be 188 pple running concurrently on 1 track. so i'm expecting a minute or half slower. This year is the only year i'm feeling so stressed about NAPFA, every other previous year i just treated it as a PE lesson. there are so many reasons i can think of which constitutes to this stress- my expectations(want to finish off my last NAPFA of my life on a high note), NS next year(i heard that NAPFA is crucial and matters)..
Argh, today's results did little to relieve my worry. WHY DO I ALWAYS WORRY?!!?! worry worry worry. am i testing God's patience by not putting my trust in Him? Obedience is 1 thing, Trust is the other. Oh God. help me to trust You, for everything is according to ur plans.

Today after school went St.E at CCK MRT with my classmate/co-ministry worker. Students who trudge along that interchange/MRT station are very renowned for the form of avoidance/rejection to our pleas to them to STOP. I call it the 'Red Sea' splitting pattern. e.g You approach a couple of guys, they will repel temporarily like i'm an odd magnet, then join up after passing me. Its a good tactic, coz they know you dun have 2 heads.
Then i was joking with my St.E partner, naming their splitting patterns like that of NMR Spect. haha. so funny, 'aye, we go split them into 'Doublets' hahahaha!

stop worrying
vin

hey people!

thank God for FUM Party last Saturday, although was tremendously disappointed that my students' friends turned him down :( but still, many heard the gospel! :)

O ya, i thank God for His wake up call, my term 1 progress report is a disaster. i failed everything. its pathetic, although so close to passes, but even if i get a 50, its still so pathetic. ha. this past week, so many people are telling me to start working hard in my studies, and stressing that time is really running out! wow, i feel the urgency now finally - through teachers, parents, school principals, friends.

I've got a joke! i'm so glad i made the effort to remember it. i was showing Boon Jin (SYFC staff) my progress report which has a series of 'O' printed on it. then she went ' haha.. reminds me of a joke' hahahahahaha!!!

here it is:
what does a letter 'O' say to the number '8'?
fat jiu4 fat la! why you wanna wear a belt?!

:)
vin

it doesnt take a mission trip to be exposed to people who are equally as helpless but having a longing to learn God's Word- forget the reason, i came to BPGC in 2002 with Donovan David to improve my chinese, especially for DD. Helpless they are, confidence/ self-esteem battered, hopelessness, submission to their position in the doldrums of life- almost every aspect of it. I heard 'useless', with so much emotions, the voice choking to hold back the tears. How to relieve the plight, restore the innate confidence. i dun wanna be sympathetic, i wana be encouraging.

so true the song: ba3 leng3 mo4 bian4 cheng2 ai4
every single phrase of it is so real.

thank God for reminding me that i need only to please Him, too many times i am spurred on by results, which means its very discouraging when results arent desirable, but God looks at the effort, i just need to learn how to place my trust in God, by His grace alone He will deliver.

Galisten Ave was beautiful today. Glittering stars were sprayed across the sky, and under the watchful eyes of the moon, there i was, marvelling at God's creation, and noticing how the signboard of the church causes the church to be so prominent, like lighthouses which beams in the darkness.

under the mist shrouded night sky,
i gazed into Your loveliness

What a friend i have in Jesus
vin

hmm.. today's Gd Friday's service was alright. was hoping for better/more reflection time and wanting to be refreshed by God's message & be reminded of His grace.
Nonetheless, its ok.

I've got a home in glory land that outshines the sun
vin

this week is effectively over. time is flying so fast, really fast. i shant blabber on re that.

next week: both apprehensive & exciting, currently the equilibrium lies more to the left. its crazy, i want to go for Good Friday street E, meet students/ contacts to pass them the Easter eggs, confirm FUM Party sign ups, finish up GP presentation by tomorrow coz its on Tuesday, and with 2 tests (chem & math) on Wednesday & thursday to top it off. Pray for good time management. But its exciting coz its GOOD FRIDAY week, so good to share, pray for opportunities.

i so dread this week coz my teacher gonna call up our parents, and i didnt do well for term 1 k.

thinking of the copious workload makes me wish that tomorrow never comes.
maybe after this week la, after more pple hears the gospel.

jia you
vin

i'm so sad, 2 of my contacts pulled out of FUM Party. sad. sad sad.
there's this very bizarre thing that i experienced juz now, and i'm feeling the follow through effects of it now. as i was showering, i felt this sudden sapping of energy from me and loosening of muscles, so much so i'm feeling so weak now my fingers are trembling while popping grapes into my mouth. and sweat is pouring out of my pores profusely i'm not even sure if its sweat, it feels like water, oh dear, i'm hydrating or mutilating? feels as though i'm gonna be reduced to liquid very soon.

i'll post something bizarre-r k the next time, coz i surely should be hibernating.

vin

as publicity for the evangelistic event holding next saturday (FUM party) heats up these few days, calling is also stepped up. had this bizarre encounter when i was calling up one contact. when i said my name and who am i, he went 'oorh' then the line cut was cut off, i redialled almost immediately, it rang for 3 counts, then its cut again, i redialled again, the singtel operator's voice came on. ha. maddening. hmm.. i've place all my energy and tried my best to excite the youths to come, its quite discouraging that some just wont come, and i feel wasted when some want to but cannot come, due to some err.. 'negative' externalities?, pray that we'll jia you

thank God for His assurance today. At this time when my fitness has deproved, and i'm praying for humility, God gave me much needed confidence :) at PC today, we did interval training, we'd to run 2 x 2 rounds, & conclude with 1 round. i surprised myself though, 1st 2 rounds i clocked 3: 10+, 2nd 2 rounds i did a 2:52, final single lap i checked in at 1:18. it was even sweeter coz there is this cocky & egotistic & haughty classmate who at Road Run couple of months back, hurled vulgarities at me when overtaking me. i managed to turn the tables on him, he was ahead in round 1 (i was no.2), but i never looked back after tt, grabbing pole position in the final 2 rounds, 'grounded' him.

'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble'
vin

i kinda feel that i'm losing my students. I'm only concerned about bringing them out for st.E, well at least i feel that thats the priority now, in order to meet the target of 18. But have i neglected their spiritual growth in God's Word? i dunno, i'm very confused.. Lord, help me to be genuinely concerned for them.. basically this whole week i'm not dedicating it to meeting them, just st.E & contact work. it was originally planned to do with them, but some of them are so busy. oh no, i'd better do something quick. i feel like i'm wasting my time.

my biological bro is diving thousands of feet off the air tomorrow. He said pray for him. Petrifying it is to think about it. the insecurities.

worried me,
vin

Met this sec 2 guy (contact whom i had perviously met) today when i was doing st.E. then we engaged in a crappy conversation, he was crapping all the way, and i was entertaining his craps coz i wanted to talk to him longer = more rapport = look out for gospel links. then my brain was working v hard to catch that tiny crack for the gospel to seep through. when it did finally come, he argued his way through, and remained hardened to the gospel. he was listing down by himself a whole series of evidences to justify why God didnt create man- everything came by chance. and the funny thing was that the evidences are percisely the points to justify why everything didnt appear out of thin air, or by some cosmic collision. then he said that the amazing things that is good and extraodinary -the whole scope of Creation is a small fraction of the results of 'chances'. oh dear what am i saying. that means when things happen by chance, little turn out good, most don't work out, so Creation is the little good that happened.

interesting point of view. too bad he's so cocksure about his understandings.

you know throughout today i felt this energy surplus in me that made me so restless that i felt like running 10 rounds round e track just to achieve inner stability.

vin

BPGC chinese youths was roaming around Plaza today. from the moment i stepped in, I saw Winnie, then subsequently, i saw/met Jin Dao, Zhong Ren, Jun Wei, Chin Yew, DeZhang, Yi Xin, Edna, Su Ying, Kai Qiu, Clara, Zhi Wei, Hsiao Ling, Geok Lan, Yea Ling, Elphia, Liang Fa, Chris Pastor Ong and family.

had BCL with Jin Dao (Zhong Ren), apparently Caleb(Zhong Ren) tagged along with his best mate, and i found out no ones giving him BCL, so i guess Chris & I will take him, albeit the official administrative declaration. i like these guys, its my wish and prayer to see them aligning themselves to God. you know, hope to correct and discard their wrong thinking, then implanting the truths (right mentality) in them, then helping them to apply. thank God for this opportunity, pray for wisdom and patience to see them grow.

I'm very very encouraged by Chris. I can see a different him now. He has grown so much in maturity and seriousness and being focused and disciplined. I 'm gonna learn much from him. thank God for letting us work together.

yay, managed to complete some school work before going off to okiya for more practice. *Burden lifted off my shoulders.

Go over now - says Hatsumomo
vin